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Why kids misbehave; four discoveries as to why
Posted by Rob in Discipline
I admit it… being a parent can be tough! Especially when dealing with the aspect of discipline. Then add the complexity of multiple kids and quickly one discovers that what works for one child doesn’t work for the other child. As I was researching ways to handle discipline with my two year old and five year old, I came across an article about Dr. Greg Cyaumon’s research as to why kids misbehave and a strategy on how to handle the misbehavior. Dr. Greg Cynaumon surveyed 147 different families over a course of 16 months and made four interesting discoveries as to why kids misbehave.
Discovery #1 Misbehaviors (things like forgetting chores, not getting dressed on time, bickering with a sibling, etc.) were not the main problem at all, but merely symptoms of the underlying reason for the misbehavior.
Discovery #2 The emergency of three underlying motives which were found to drive 92% of all misbehaviors. They were:
1. a child feeling insecure
2. a child feeling unimportant, discounted, or minimized. It didn’t matter if it happened at
home, in school, or with a group of friends.
3. a child’s desire for more (more toys, moreplay time, etc) exceeding his ability to do the right thing.
Discovery #3 Children ranging in age from 2 to 18 could be divided into four distinct discipline personality types, which we called the DQ Factor (discipline quotient). The four different types are Bears, Monkeys, Porcupines, and Lambs. The DQ Factor actually predicted how, why, and when the child would misbehave.
Discovery #4 Once the child’s DQ Factor was identified, the parent could apply specific types of discipline techniques that were statistically proven to be most effective with that child’s DQ Factor.
Tomorrow we will look at how to identify what DQ Factor type your child displays.
The above information was pulled from Dr. Greg Cynaumon’s book “Discover Your Child’s DQ Factor: The Discipline Quotient System
” and the magazine, Christian Parenting Today, Winter 2003 article “Why Kids Misbehave.”
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