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Why kids misbehave – DQ factor type – Bear
Posted by Rob in Discipline
In yesterday’s post, we had a quick overview of how to identify the four different discipline types in your child. Today we are going to look at one of the four discipline types from Dr. Greg Cynaumon’s DQ Factor, identified as the Bear.
Bear
Description: Strong willed child. Will often misbehave in challenging, controling, confrontive ways and often just for the sake of misbehaving. Often complains about the rules and how unfair they are. Outwardly despises discipline and being told what to do. Will also routinely challenge your authority in an attempt to gain the upper hand and take control.
Motivation: Children identified as “Bears” crave control. They feel most significant (most important in everyone’s eyes and their own) when they are in control. Therefore, when your Bear misbehaves, he is likely doing so in an attempt to gain control, thereby increasing his self-esteem. Even if he doesn’t succeed in gaining self-control, the matter itself was enough to give him a sense of self-satisfaction, power, and control. At the very least, you were drawn into battle, which in his mind means he is powerful and influential—even over you.
Discipline Strategy: As the grown-up, you are responsible to change the atmosphere. Learning to compromise and work toward mutual respect, cooperation, and shared decision-making, will help change your Bear’s attitude, especially in the area of cooperation.
What Works: Ignoring (Bears feed off knowing they can control your reaction), timeouts (Bears like to be noticed, so being out of the center of activity hurts). And taking away privileges (Bears don’t like it when they can’t do what they want).
The above information was pulled from Dr. Greg Cynaumon’s book “Discover Your Child’s D.Q. Factor
” and the magazine, Christian Parenting Today, Winter 2003 article “Why Kids Misbehave.”
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