Why kids misbehave – DQ Factor Type – Lamb

Posted by Rob in Discipline

Today we will conclude the series of why kids misbehave by looking at the last of the discipline personality types – the Lamb. We began this series looking at four discoveries that Dr. Greg Cynaumon identified as he analyzed 147 different families. Next, we identified ways for parents to determine their child’s discipline personality type. The personality types range from Bear, Monkey, and Porcupine, and once identified, each personality type offers quick strategies to help bring the misbehaviors into line. Today’s article looks at the last discipline personality type, the Lamb.

Lamb

Description: Not at all strong-willed or motivated by revenge. Has poor self-esteem and is convinced he is inadequate and messes up everything; engages in a bit of “victim think.” Will commonly misbehave to get you to take over and do things for him.

Motivation: Lambs tend to see themselves as weak, incapable, and destined to fail. Therefore, Lambs avoid demanding situations where their successes and failures can be seen. They accomplish this through a number of avoidance techniques, like appearing so helpless that you will do things for them.

Discipline Strategy: Because Lambs are insecure, they need lots of unconditional love. Hug your child and say “I love you” several times a day. Compliment your child and notice what is remarkable about him. Anytime you talk to your Lamb, focus your vocabulary on extremely complimentary words such as “remarkable,” “impressive,” “talented,” and “special.” (Naturally, these expressions of love will benefit all children, but they’re especially important for Lambs.)

What Works: Ignoring (Lambs want you to fed sorry for them, so giving them sympathy will only increase the behavior), taking away privileges (Lambs need to know there are consequences for their misbehavior), and proximity timeouts. A proximity timeout involves isolating the child emotionally without creating physical distance. Put the timeout chair in the corner of a room where the child can sit facing the wall.

The above information was pulled from Dr. Greg Cynaumon’s book “Discover Your Child’s D.Q. Factor” and the magazine, Christian Parenting Today, winter 2003 article “Why Kids Misbehave.”

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