Why kids misbehave – DQ Factor Type – Porcupine

Posted by Rob in Discipline

Over the past several days, we’ve pulled portions from Dr. Greg Chynaumon’s book “Discover Your Child’s D.Q. Factor” as we look at ways to handle kids and their misbehavior. Dr. Chynaumon shared with us four discoveries as to why children misbehave and then gave us insight on how to identify our child’s discipline personality type. Dr. Chynaumon identified four types of discipline personalities Bear, Monkey, Porcupine and Lamb. Tomorrow, we will conclude the series by looking at the last discipline personality type known as the Lamb. Today though, we are looking at the discipline personality type called the Porcupine. I can identify with the Porcupine personality due to the fact that my oldest is definitley one. I have found that in situations where my oldest is misbehaving, verbal reprimands and the loss of privleges work extremely well.

Porcupines

Description: Usually quiet and not nearly as in your face as the Bear or as obvious as the Monkey. Is passive-aggressive in that he says everything is okay, but underneath it all, he is ticked about something. If you hurt him emotionally he will figure out a way to get you back. Often, that means misbehaving.

Motivation: Porcupines are searching for self-importance, significance, and self-worth. They will sometimes say and do angry, hurtful things in a miscalculated attempt to elevate their self-image. When a porcupine feels criticized, put down, or minimized, he will always pay you back. His delicate balance of self-worth cannot tolerate a direct hit, and he will respond by putting you down.

Discipline Strategy: Avoid being drawn into an angry exchange cycle of paying your child back for hurting you by saying something equally hurtful. Porcupines react to your angry reaction by feeling justified in seeking revenge. There is Strength in being self-controlled, listening, responding, and then allowing your child to have the final word. So don’t allow yourself or your child to stray from the point.

What Works: Verbal reprimands (Porcupines need to be reminded that their hurtful attitude is inappropriate), natural consequences (losing friends because she often hurts their feelings will impact a Porcupine on a deep level), and taking away privileges (Porcupines need to feel the sting of lost privileges to keep their revenge from paying off).

Tomorrow we will conclude the series “Why kids misbehave” with the last discipline personality known as the Lamb.

The above information was pulled from Dr. Greg Cynaumon’s book “Discover Your Child’s D.Q. Factor” and the magazine, Christian Parenting Today, Winter 2003 article “Why Kids Misbehave.”

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